War On Terror Wrong

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The “War On Terror was wrong” said David Milliband today. (story here) Still it’s of little comfort to Brian, Larry and Henry (below,) all accused of crimes of terror, which turned their world upside down!

Wrongly Accused-The Terror Trio

Wrongly Accused-The "Terror Trio"

“I was literally shitting me self” said Larry Talbot, a rather hirsute labourer from Croydon, London.   Meanwhile Professor Henry Jarrod’s popular Wax Museum had to close through a concerted “whispering campaign“.  And spare a thought for Brian Stoker, a Dentist from Middlesborough, who spent six months in Guantanamo Bay. “I’m suing” said a furious Mr Stoker, yesterday.

An Innocent Abroad

An Innocent Abroad

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Royal Family In New Race Row

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The Royal family found themselves caught up in a new race row today after it emerged the Prince of Wales has been calling an Asian friend by the nickname “Sooty”.

Prince Charles with friends Jamie Phelps Gore Booth Sweep and(Far Right) Kolin Dhillon Sooty at the Cirencester Polo club, yesterday

Prince Charles with friends Jamie Phelps Gore Booth "Sweep" and ("Far Right") Kolin Dhillon "Sooty" at the Cirencester Polo club, yesterday

This is not the first time the royals have been embroiled in accusations of racism. Prince Harry was pictured dressed in a Nazi uniform at a fancy dress party. The Queen has referred to people of African descent as “fuzzy wuzzys and Prince Phillip it is alleged, thinks “Combat 18” “a bit of a wheeze”

Graham Smith, campaign manager for the organisation “Republic”, said: “I think it goes to show the royal family are not a symbol of unity, it’s not something we can rally around, they’re quite divisive.

People are saying they are not racist but on the evidence in the public domain I think that’s to the contrary.

“It also shows how hugely out of touch they are and that they live in a very isolated world, only mixing with a certain kind of person.”

Harry was caught on film three years ago referring to former Pakistani platoon member Ahmed Raza Khan as “our little Paki friend”.  It would seem the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree, as Prince Phillip whose racist language is bizarrely often excused as “gaffes” hasn’t exactly hidden his rampant ignorance and bigotry. In 1986, for example, the queen’s husband remarked to a British student during a visit to China: ‘‘If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes.”

In 1998, during a tour of Papua New Guinea, he told another British student, ”You managed not to get eaten then?”

Or the time he told a British tourist who was visiting Budapest, Hungary: ”You can’t have been here that long — you haven’t got a pot belly.”

Definitely time for a republic I think ..

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Prince Harry- An Apology

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Before attending a recent fancy dress party with chums, Prince Harry gave an unreserved apology for using the term “Paki.” (Story here)

It was a joke” said Harry, “One feels like an absolute spazzy using such outdated terminology. I accept it was,like, a totally gay thing to do and I apologise to all the blacks, my bird with the lovely tits  was mortified.”

As Dumbledore

As "Dumbledore"

In more controversy the “Half Wit Prince” says he was persuaded by chums to dress up “Just like Dumbledore” at a recent fancy dress bash in Henley. “I mean after one was tricked into dressing up as  the Hun last time, one can’t be too careful!  Surely nobody can take offence at one dressed up as a harmless, jolly old  wizard” . Indeed Harry, indeed.

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Blair Dumps More Trouble On Beleaguered Brown

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Another day, another sh*t storm for PM Gordon Brown.  Just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, Tony Blair dumps on him from a great height (story here) with news of a “leaked” memo.

Blair: "Dumping Or Leaking ?"

Large Version (Click Thumbnail)

What the heck it has to do with Alan Sugar is beyond me? I mean what next? Ant n’Dec on the economy? Joey Barton on prison reform and how not to be a tw*t ?

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British Gas In Biggest-Ever Hike In Gas Bills.

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British Gas today hiked gas bills by 35% and electricity prices by 9% heaping more misery on households. The price hikes come into effect immediately and will add an extra £262.80 a year to the average dual fuel customer’s bill, or 72p a day. This news came after Jake Ulrich, the managing director of Centrica, which owns British Gas, angered aged charities and consumer groups by advising maybe it’s a case of two jumpers instead of one.”

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Reject The Tory “Status Quo” Urges Milliband

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( Story here )

Parliament goes “X-Factor” as Labour urges voters to reject the Tory Status Quo..

But who will the public vote for ….The David Milli-band perhaps ?

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Joey Barton Models Latest Newcastle kit

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Meanwhile in a far, far away land to the North, a cold land, barren and strangely devoid of trophies , Kevin Keegan  AKA King Kev (sic) explains why he won’t turn his back on soccer thug and all round low-life, Joey Barton. “I believe I can turn his life around, a bit like Jesus, I can show him the way, people just have to believe in me.”
Just before he was to visit “the real Santa” in la-la land, Keegan (the Christ), went on to explain, “People  may see me as naive, well fair enough, it’s a mans game and at the end of the day they are entitled to pays their monies and takes their choice” before he inexplicably ran out of clichés……

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Labour “Big Guns” Behind Brown

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Its great to know everybody’s behind you, Gordon (story here.)  Is Jack Straw really revolting ?

And then there are the Blairites who dream of the day their knight in shining armour rides in to save poor Gordon. But what is one persons dream, is another’s nightmare ! 😉

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Trust Me I’m A Doctor

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Doctors have spoken out against annual testing which is to be introduced by the General Medical Council. They fear this will undermine public confidence in them and it would mean doctors spending less time with patients and practising “defensive medicine”. Story here


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