Oh dear, oh dear, actor, comedian, intellectual giant and national treasure Stephen Fry has got into a bit of hot water this week. After ‘tweeting‘ pictures from the set of the latest Harry Potter movie, Warner Brothers apparently requested he removed them forthwith.
Later in the week Fry was quoted as saying that he feels sorry for straight men as women aren’t generally too keen on making the beast with two backs, submitting that “it’s the price they are willing to pay for a relationship”. Obviously if Fry is correct this means I’ve been lied to countless times and the earth didn’t really move!! …Damn you Fry ! Now I’m beginning to doubt my once unquestionable prowess !
Admittedly my first reaction was that Stephen appears to have regressed back to the 1970’s, but that was nothing compared to the twitter-verse lynch mob, as they went into overdrive, jerking their knees and bleating that Fry should be hung in Parliament Square via his (doubtless) magnificently humongous testicles, until such time as they are engorged and bright purple; like overripe Tuscan Valley plums. At this point his plump, puce pods should be pummelled with splintered cricket bats as Fry is handed his I-phone and attempts to beg for clemency using just 140 characters. However, one suspects as an ex public school boy, Fry may regard that sort of behaviour as more of a guilty pleasure, than an actual punishment.
Others defended young Stephen, many observing (including it is noted, one Mrs Von Pip,) that he was merely highlighting a painful, unspoken truth whilst also helping to shatter the final taboo that has for so long haunted the shadowy world of heterosexual sex. Namely that women would sooner drink neat bleach than blow a gentleman’s love trombone, although many accept that ultimately it’s a price worth paying as all their friends have men and they don’t really want to come across as ‘a bit Lesbian.’ Some young ladies confusingly tweeted that ‘Feminism was gay‘, whilst others said that all this nagging would simply give women a bad name , and really shouldn’t these feminists be busy preparing their man a delicious meal wearing a thong, suspenders and high heels ? After all, he’s bound to have developed an insatiable appetite following a spot of late afternoon dogging ! Ah the Sisterhood is alive and well it seems!
As an upshot of all this blathering, Mr Fry has not only deleted the Harry Potter photos, but it transpires he may have also deleted his twitter account claiming he’s being painted as the gay, I-phone loving anti-Christ and has been horribly misquoted, signing off with a pithily inspired “bye,bye”.
Still, whatever the rights and wrongs it gives us an ideal opportunity to indulge in some Photoshop fun, sadly it also gives the Daily Mail, who are no fans of Mr Fry, the chance to produce yet more spurious nonsense too.
Fry Quits Twitter ? -(Animated version)