“Nick Clegg Waiting on Spine Donor”

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Nick Clegg Sell Out
(Animated Version.)

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Let’s face it, news that politicians lie is nothing new.  Liberal Democrat leader and spineless political shape-shifter of no fixed ideology, Nick Clegg conned many before the election with his oily slickness during the nations first televised TV debates.  Little by little  the carefully constructed façade of  earnest integrity, of a reasonable man who like the Danish prince, agonises with his conscience over ‘big decisions’ has been reduced to rubble. The mask has  well and truly slipped to reveal a shallow fraudster with no scruples whose  lack of  veracity is matched only by his naked hunger for power.  To wit, he really is a fucking cock-ring.

Nick Clegg before the election:

Nick Clegg after the election:

“”This is an extraordinarily difficult issue… We have stuck to the wider ambition that going to university is done in a progressive way”

In other words

Resulting in

Which induced a not very chastened  Nick the  Prick to say-

“You need to be careful. I should have been more careful perhaps in signing that pledge at the time.”

But wait !! Apparently, the Liberal Democrats were already drawing up plans to discard Nick Clegg’s flagship policy to scrap university tuition fees two months before the general election. Pity they didn’t let on to the people who voted for his pre election pledges eh ? And they call it democracy?

[Youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYMN7l_wo5U&feature=related]

 

Support The Students

 

Nick, you see can be anyone you want him to be…whenever it suites


F*ck Nick Clegg!Nick Clegg- Tuition Fees

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“X” mas Message 2009

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The Puppet Master

“Simon and Cheryl-Secret Recording” 😉

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If the suggestion  that Simon Cowell wants to enter politics with an X-Factor style political show doesn’t fill your heart with dread then you probably deserve him.

“Ant, Dec? What do the public think ? Should we pull the troops out. Let’s get the public to decide!.

[ Cue gratuitous close-up of grieving Army mum  looking tearfully at a photo of her son and set to a heart rending  Leona Lewis song.  Cut to  close up of a concerned looking Simon] …..

Simon: “Afghanistan ? EVEN  I don’t understand what’s going on there the public deserves the truth which can only be discovered by a premium line phone vote” (Story here .)

But before you rush off and vote for Simon or imagine Clarkeson as Minister For Transport , “Dr” Gillian McKeith as Health Minister , Ant & Dec as  Cultural Ambassadors or  Vernon Kaye as Minister For Vacuous  Twattery,  before you embrace that particular cultural and political  Armageddon , lets examine how Cowell manipulates the (willing )public on say, mind rotting shite like  The X-Factor, let’s do the maths.

“Do You Want The Truth Or Something Beautiful?”

Oblong Headed Oligarch of Pop : “Every single person who fills in an application form does so because they want to prove to the judges that they have what it takes, that “X” that “It” that “Pow!” which will propel them from the humdrum inadequacy of their current existence towards that mythical nirvana called the “celebrity life-style”. They all think they have a chance. That once they get in front of those three famous judges they have a genuine chance, no matter how small, of all their dreams coming true.

But they’re not going to get in front of us are they? At least not about ninety four thousand of them. The chances of them getting to perform for the judges are tiny!”

So it’s all a lie??

Oblong Headed Oligarch of Pop: “Of course it isn’t a lie!!! It’s show business. It’s entertainment. We don’t deceive anybody. The information is already there for people if they want to see it, they only have to do the maths. Ninety Five thousand contestants, three judges. How could we possibly consider even a fraction of that number? Say we did ten an hour, that’s nine thousand five hundred hours. Assuming we worked a ten hour day that would be nine hundred and fifty days!! That’s nearly three years we would have to be sitting there behind a trestle table saying “I think you need to find another dream” to an endless stream of idiots and that’s if we worked flat out without a break !

People can work it out if they want to. The only have to do the maths. But they don’t want to do the Maths. Why should they? Any more than they would watch a film that reminded them that it was only actors reciting a script.”*

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*Ben Elton “Chart Throb”

Bad Week For Brown

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Not been the best of weeks for the Prime Minister has it ?

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Amongst the comings and goings in a week fraught with resignations, Machiavellian plotting and general media hysteria there was the curious case of Caroline Flint. She resigned claiming  that she was no longer willing to be treated as  “female window dressing”. Story here . We will certainly not be making any sexist jokes about being happy to offer Mrs Flint a position on our cabinet. No. She may have a valid point, but sadly she will stand accused by many, of playing the “sexist card”.  Her statement the day prior to her resignation would have many questioning her real motivation.

“I am staying in the government.”I have spent my entire ministerial career for six years now serving Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, and I am very proud to be in a Labour government and very proud to be part of Gordon Brown’s government.

Her position suddenly changed the following day when it transpired she wasnt to be offered the job she thought her “loyalty” deserved, as she sobbed “Several of the women attending cabinet – myself included – have been treated by you as little more than female window dressing.”I am not willing to attend cabinet in a peripheral capacity any longer.”

Brown of course denied he had  ever regarded Mrs Flint as “window dressing”, as our exclusive picture clearly demonstrates.

And to top it all………….…. ( Story here)

But despite all of the above, it doesn’t stop Cameron being a useless T*at either,  does it ?



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A Nice Little Earner… MP’s Expenses

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So when is fraud not fraud ? Why when its an MP expense claim of course!  With so many MP’s stating “it was a mistake , an oversight, I was badly advised” one wonders whether such cretins, whose numeracy seems rudimentary at best,  are really the right people to be holding the public purse strings, let alone run the country?

You can bet your bottom dollar if this was, say,  a housing benefit scam, or indeed any other abuse of public money, prosecutions would follow….we shall see….

Here are some the high profile cases, remember, this is your money folks..

Gordon Brown

Mr Brown used his expenses to pay his brother Andrew £6,577 for cleaning work at his Westminster flat between 2004 and 2006. The brothers shared the cleaner at their two flats. Under the arrangement, Andrew Brown paid the cleaner and the Prime Minister reimbursed his share of the cost.

Jack Straw

The Justice Secretary claimed for the full cost of council tax, even though he received a 50% discount from his local authority. He repaid the money last summer, shortly after a High Court ruling requiring the receipts to be published. In a note to the fees office he wrote: “Accountancy does not appear to be my strongest suit.”

David Miliband

The Foreign Secretary claimed almost £30,000 for doing up his £120,000 constituency home over five years, it was reported. He spent up to £180 every three months on the garden at the property in South Shields. At the bottom of one receipt for £132.96 in April 2008, his gardener wrote a note questioning whether some of the work was necessary.

Hazel Blears

The Communities Secretary claimed for three different properties in a single year, spending almost £5,000 of taxpayers’ money on furniture in three months.

Margaret Beckett

The Housing Minister found herself in trouble with the Fees Office after attempting to claim £600 for hanging baskets and pot plants.

Andy Burnham

The Culture Secretary wrote a note to the fees office in which he pleaded for his expenses to be paid urgently and even wrote he “might be in line for a divorce” if the money did not materialise within days.

John Prescott

The taxpayer paid for the former deputy prime minister to fit the front of his home in Hull with mock Tudor boards and for his toilet seat to be repaired twice in two years. ( I have a horrible mental picture at this point)

John Reid

The former Home Secretary’s claims included a £199 pouffe, a £370 armchair, an £899 sofa and a £29.99 a “black glitter toilet seat”. ( Nice, so much for the “hard man” image eh?)

David Cameron

The Tory leader claimed a total of £82,450 on his second home allowance over five years which included a £680 bill for repairs to the property relating to the  clearing wisteria and vines from a chimney and replacing outside lights . (Good God, even his expense claims are bland and dull ! )

Oliver Letwin

Mr Letwin, who is in charge of drawing up the Conservative general election manifesto, claimed more than £2,000 to replace a leaking pipe under his tennis court. He said he had been ordered to mend the pipe by the local water company and did not make any improvements to the court or his garden. The taxpayer also picked up the tab for regular services to his Aga cooker.

Greg Barker

Mr Barker – the first prominent Tory to be caught up in the expenses row – reportedly made a £320,000 profit on a flat he bought at the taxpayers’ expense.

David Willetts

The shadow innovation, universities and skills secretary claimed £115 plus VAT to replace 25 light bulbs at his second home in west London. On the same claim – part of a £2,191 invoice for odd jobs that included cleaning a shower head – Mr Willetts charged another £80 to “change light bulbs in bathroom”. But parliamentary authorities pared the bill back by more than £1,000, refusing to refund £175 for a dog enclosure and £750 for a shed base. According to the Daily Telegraph, the fees office frequently cut his claims because of errors or overclaims.

Nick Herbert

The shadow environment secretary claimed back £10,000 of the £14,700 stamp duty when he bought a home with his partner in his constituency. He also charged for fees and a survey of the property in Arundel, West Sussex and claimed for the entire monthly mortgage interest even though his partner’s name was on the deeds

lan Duncan

The shadow leader of the Commons claimed thousands of pounds for his garden before agreeing with the fees office that the spending “could be considered excessive”. Millionaire Mr Duncan recouped £4,000 over three years. However, a £3,194 bill for gardening in March 2007 was not paid after officials responded suggesting that the claim might not be “within the spirit” of the rules, according to the Daily Telegraph. In a letter to the MP for Rutland and Melton, the fees office said that it expected gardening costs “to cover only basic essentials such as grass cutting”.

Nick Clegg

The current Lib Dem leader reported had his second home allowance docked last year after exceeding the £23,083 maximum by more than £100. Other claims made included £1,657.32 for food, and phone bills which included calls to Colombia and Vietnam.

Chris Huhne

The Lib Dem’s home affairs spokesman regularly submits claims for food and groceries including pints of milk, fluffy dusters and chocolate biscuits. Millionaire Mr Huhne, who is MP for Eastleigh in Hampshire, also expensed a £119 trouser press which was delivered to his main London home.

So how did this system of corruption ever become just a perk of the job ? Well as with many of societies ills it’s all Thatchers fault. According to Michael Brown, former Tory MP, Margaret Thatcher is to blame as she blocked a salary increase and introduced allowances instead, thus deceiving the electorate. “Cheeky Boy” Lembit Opik also backed up this claim saying that the whole system is wrong but that it was Thatcher’s fault because she introduced the current system and, he claimed,  encouraged MP’s to use expense claims as a means of supplementing their income.

Time for Madame Guillotine to make an appearance me thinks 😉

“Margaret On the Guillotine” By Morrissey

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Obama Keen To Avoid ‘Trade War’

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Responding to criticism of the Buy America clause in the $900 billion stimulus package, the President said he was eager to avoid being protectionist. After a flurry of European criticism concerning a ‘Buy America’ clause contained in the almost $900 billion stimulus plan, US president Barack Obama said that he is keen to avoid a trade conflict.

“I think it would be a mistake though, at a time when worldwide trade is declining, for us to start sending a message that somehow we’re just looking after ourselves and not concerned with world trade,”

STORY HERE


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War On Terror Wrong

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The “War On Terror was wrong” said David Milliband today. (story here) Still it’s of little comfort to Brian, Larry and Henry (below,) all accused of crimes of terror, which turned their world upside down!

Wrongly Accused-The Terror Trio

Wrongly Accused-The "Terror Trio"

“I was literally shitting me self” said Larry Talbot, a rather hirsute labourer from Croydon, London.   Meanwhile Professor Henry Jarrod’s popular Wax Museum had to close through a concerted “whispering campaign“.  And spare a thought for Brian Stoker, a Dentist from Middlesborough, who spent six months in Guantanamo Bay. “I’m suing” said a furious Mr Stoker, yesterday.

An Innocent Abroad

An Innocent Abroad

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Blair Dumps More Trouble On Beleaguered Brown

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Another day, another sh*t storm for PM Gordon Brown.  Just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, Tony Blair dumps on him from a great height (story here) with news of a “leaked” memo.

Blair: "Dumping Or Leaking ?"

Large Version (Click Thumbnail)

What the heck it has to do with Alan Sugar is beyond me? I mean what next? Ant n’Dec on the economy? Joey Barton on prison reform and how not to be a tw*t ?

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British Gas In Biggest-Ever Hike In Gas Bills.

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British Gas today hiked gas bills by 35% and electricity prices by 9% heaping more misery on households. The price hikes come into effect immediately and will add an extra £262.80 a year to the average dual fuel customer’s bill, or 72p a day. This news came after Jake Ulrich, the managing director of Centrica, which owns British Gas, angered aged charities and consumer groups by advising maybe it’s a case of two jumpers instead of one.”

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Reject The Tory “Status Quo” Urges Milliband

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( Story here )

Parliament goes “X-Factor” as Labour urges voters to reject the Tory Status Quo..

But who will the public vote for ….The David Milli-band perhaps ?

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Labour “Big Guns” Behind Brown

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Its great to know everybody’s behind you, Gordon (story here.)  Is Jack Straw really revolting ?

And then there are the Blairites who dream of the day their knight in shining armour rides in to save poor Gordon. But what is one persons dream, is another’s nightmare ! 😉

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Trust Me I’m A Doctor

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Doctors have spoken out against annual testing which is to be introduced by the General Medical Council. They fear this will undermine public confidence in them and it would mean doctors spending less time with patients and practising “defensive medicine”. Story here


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Thatcher State Funeral Controversy

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Should Thatcher, the wicked old witch have a state funeral? Should it not be something appropriate to sum up the nations feeling towards this evil hag ? Possibly something like this…………

As Frankie Boyle so eloquently put it

“surely it would be cheaper to buy everybody in Scotland a spade in order to dig a hole so deep thus enabling her to be delivered directly to Satan”

No State Funeral

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

What The Nation Thinks ?

Large Version

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Gordon Brown- “Call Me Heathcliff”

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So our troubled PM Gordon Brown likens himself to the dark brooding anti hero in Emily Bronte’s classic tale of obsessive love “Wuthering Heights” …..hmmmm well he has a point I suppose (story here)

David Davis resigns over 42-day terror law

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David Davis, shadow home secretary  and one of the Tories’ political heavyweights, stunned Westminster by announcing he was quitting as both an MP and Shadow Home Secretary to fight against the Government’s “strangulation” of British freedoms. Davis is apparently opposed to the anti-terror bill that allows the authorities to detain terror suspects without charge for up to 42 days.

The shadow home secretary, who threw the Conservative leadership into turmoil, forcing a byelection in his constituency, yesterday, unveiled his campaign team …..

John Prescott Admits “I Ate All the Pies”

Gordon Brown, News, Prime Minister, UK Media, World News

John Prescott admitted for the first time that he suffered from Bulimia for 20 years : “What I did was stuff my face with anything around, any old rubbish — burgers, chocolate, crisps, fish and chips, Labour Party policy,  loads of it, till I felt sick. But at least I’d had the pleasure of stuffing my face and feeling really full. Then there would be a weird kind of pleasure in vomiting over Tony Blair and feeling relieved.”
Friends say they are stunned. Neighbour Eric Marmasat said yesterday “ We are shocked that John has been suffering from an eating disorder, he was always a greedy b*stard, I`ll grant you, but we had no idea it was this bad, even the time a few years back when he ran across a farmers field once roaring “I MUST HAVE THE BACON !”   and  tried to eat a live pig we thought that was just John being John”

However as our  exclusive photos show  there may have been small tell tale  signs in the past which could provide some evidence of an unhealthy attitude to food.