Its Almost Christmas….

Humour

I must apologise for the lack of posting here, truth is the story dominating the political scene here in the UK , (Damian Green’s arrest) has been a huge, huge bore . Only the Daily Mail seem to care, the rest of us couldn’t give a flying f**k! …..( For a cure for insomnia read here. Personally I’d arrest the lot of them )

Anyway Christmas is nearly here and

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Barack The Re-builder

Humour

The Von Pip Express would like to congratulate Mr Obama on his historic victory. We wish him well. To John McCain and Sarah Palin we feel it would be polite to express our commiserations, alas all we can say, hand on heart is…. “thank F**k! “

“Can We Fix It ? Yes We Can!”

(Listen to Barack’s Victory Song Below)

Large version

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Big Mouth Strikes Again

Humour

Well its been impossible to avoid in the UK , but perchance if you have lived in a cave here’s the story

My problem with it was the fact that Russell Brand and Jonathan “untouchable” Ross are paid between them over six million quid a year, for what? -So this is an example of their so called “edgy talent?  I’m sure the Beeb could walk into any school playground in the country and find more wit and ready repartee then this cretinous exercise in infantile “humour” ? Talk about dragging an unfunny joke out …(yawn.) It was only a matter of time before Woss’s increasingly pervy behaviour got him into trouble… At the end of the day It just wasn’t really very funny was it ? Whether it deserved the puritanical media storm that followed is another matter…The funniest thing to emerge from this was the Daily Mail going apoplectic about the matter-“a national disgrace”  etc – now that made me laugh !

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British Gas In Biggest-Ever Hike In Gas Bills.

Humour

British Gas today hiked gas bills by 35% and electricity prices by 9% heaping more misery on households. The price hikes come into effect immediately and will add an extra £262.80 a year to the average dual fuel customer’s bill, or 72p a day. This news came after Jake Ulrich, the managing director of Centrica, which owns British Gas, angered aged charities and consumer groups by advising maybe it’s a case of two jumpers instead of one.”

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Joey Barton Models Latest Newcastle kit

Humour

Meanwhile in a far, far away land to the North, a cold land, barren and strangely devoid of trophies , Kevin Keegan  AKA King Kev (sic) explains why he won’t turn his back on soccer thug and all round low-life, Joey Barton. “I believe I can turn his life around, a bit like Jesus, I can show him the way, people just have to believe in me.”
Just before he was to visit “the real Santa” in la-la land, Keegan (the Christ), went on to explain, “People  may see me as naive, well fair enough, it’s a mans game and at the end of the day they are entitled to pays their monies and takes their choice” before he inexplicably ran out of clichés……

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Gordon Brown- “Call Me Heathcliff”

Humour

So our troubled PM Gordon Brown likens himself to the dark brooding anti hero in Emily Bronte’s classic tale of obsessive love “Wuthering Heights” …..hmmmm well he has a point I suppose (story here)