Yesterday’s Leveson inqury was once again interrupted, this time in the form of an elderly wild eyed Italian gentleman who claimed he was Jeremy Hunt‘s long lost father. Known only as Mister Gepetto and describing his occupation as “Toy maker” he was clearly overwhelmed with emotion “Its just like a fairy story” he said, “we’ve been apart for so long but I knew one day we’d be reunited. I do worry about “Jeremy” as he likes to be called nowadays, because one day we hope he will grow up to be a real boy ,but only if he is kind and honest and true, the blue fairy said so”.
Geppetto stated he was looking forward to getting home to his “family” consisting of a goldfish (“Cleo”) and a cat (“Figaro”) ” there will be much music and dancing ” He also spoke emotionally about a cricket named “Jiminy”, who it transpires wears a top hat and is allegedly Pinocchio’s Jeremy’s official conscience, and also of an island where little boys turn into asses (the house of commons?)
“Mister Geppetto” is currently being detained in a secure unit for his own safety pending an assessment of his mental health, Jeremy Hunt remains in government and thus his chances of growing up to be a “real boy” are considered remote.