Well the nations favourite bumbling, cretinous, interbred albino buffoon has decided that, not content with standing as candidate for London mayor, what we really need is a dose of Bo-Jo’s Wildean wit and stunningly clever verse. Yes his remarkable book which concerns a fictional family who refuse to let their children watch TV is certainly something that has left me quite astonished …… he certainly proves that when it comes to “rhyming and stealing” Jay-Z has nothing to worry about. More inane rhymes I venture, have not been published since….well …since the dawn of time, Johnson remarkably makes me yearn for the unbearable gibberish of the highly irritating Dr Zeuss. In fact I thought Welsh Football coach and ex-Liverpool player John Toshack’s Dylan Thomas-esque book of verse “Gosh It’s Tosh” would take some beating :-“Coming in to land at Speke/My legs are feeling very weak/We’ve just returned from Barcelona/and now I’m going for a sauna.” But this is akin to WB Yeats compared to Boris’ efforts, check out these nuggets and tell me that Bozza’s time studying the classics wasn’t money well spent
“He’d zap the programme off and holler/’Go and read some Emile Zola.” – Profound in the extreme – I wager Zola would have saved the French government a job and actually blocked his own chimney to breathe in that sweet carbon monoxide if he’d have known he would have been name-checked within such facile tommy rot. But wait Boris has more gems for the discerning reader
“Behold them, reader, and despair:their lolling eyes, their glassy stare,
this formerly dynamic pair-In a double-seat wheelchair.” (WTF!!!!)
Despair indeed , and this from a man who was once “Tory Arts Champion” and stated in 2004 that he wished “to reverse the decline of verse” ….Yes the Boris Johnson “Make Poetry History” campaign has got off to a flyer!
Well I’ve never seen them together, they have the same finger jabbing pomposity , the same narcissistic desire to be taken seriously and both shout for no good reason. Oh and they ooze fake sincerity and patronise and preen like strutting peacocks…I really can’t tell them apart these days.
Jeremy Kyle, yesterday
David Cameron wins out, jabbing a finger at bumbling Gordon, in Parliament yesterday
David Cameron has been charged with fabricating a story about an unruly schoolboy for political gain, see original story here . Cameron denies his story was a complete work of fiction dreamt up by the Tory spin machine……..reports that Richmal Crompton’s estate are to sue have yet to be confirmed
When does somebody cease to be an affable, eccentric oaf and become a bigoted, ignorant racist ? Sometimes a shake of the carefully manufactured ruffled head, a cry of “Oh Cripes!” and the trademark insincere mumbled, shoulder shrugging half-arsed apology through a schoolboy smirk just doesn’t cut the mustard .
The bigotry of bumbling Boris
David Cameron is losing his appeal to voters, according to a recent Guardian/ICM poll which suggests that many Conservative voters are losing their enthusiasm for the Tory leader. It also shows that he is no longer attracting new support to the party.
He just cant compete with the “Brown Bounce” factor , but what on God’s green earth is “Brown Bounce ?” ..Let me attempt to explain…..
Yup the Dail Mail announced it will back Boris Johnson in the London Mayoral election if he wins the Tory nomination , so watch out for attacks on Ken Livingstone and his” loony left Cuban loving cronies”. Possibly along the lines of “Vote For Ken And He’ll Corrupt Your Children With Books Such As ….
” This of course will lead to Daily Mail readers cowering in the corners mumbling “I always new Red Ken was a bad lot, what we need is Homeland Security”
The Tories had been struggling to find a high-profile candidate to take on Ken Livingstone in the London Mayor elections. Greg Dyke, Sir John Major and Sir Digby Jones were not persuaded to stand. The Conservatives were forced to delay the deadline for applications amid reports that no candidates of sufficient prominence had put themselves forward…until today………..at last they have a credible candidate….Ta-Dah,… I give you… Boris
Later that day……….Boris tries to win over potential voters by visiting a local mosque