Cameron Denies Making Up Story About Unruly Schoolboy

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David Cameron has been charged with fabricating a story about an unruly schoolboy for political gain, see original story here . Cameron denies his story was a complete work of fiction dreamt up by the Tory spin machine……..reports that Richmal Crompton’s estate are to sue have yet to be confirmed

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Carry On Cameron- David Cameron Gets The Green Light

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Click Below To Hear the New Conservative Party Theme Tune

Oh how fickle are opinion polls, a week ago Eton Trifle David Cameron was less popular than a pool party at Michael Barrymore’s gaffe. Golden Brown and Ming The Mirthless were proving to be considerably more popular with the general public and Cameron was universally loathed and despised.

But hey a weeks a long time in politics and after Cameron’s extraordinary conference display its a case of “Everybody Loves Davey.” But what the devil caused such a miraculous transformation ? Did he announce radical new policies , did he turn water into wine , well the latter’s more likely than the former for Davey boy to be honest … but nope he performed ….a conference speech without strings wires or a safety net , yes, he didn’t have an auto cue (collective gasp!) Politically it may be a brave thing to do, and certainly it was spun in such a way that the fact that a politician has a memory and can form sentences is something that should,quite reasonably, secure Cameron the keys to Number 10 until the end of time if not longer ( Sorry Ming , your out old son.) But those who whisper in revered tones “it was unscripted” seem to be under the false impression it was some sort of improv off the cuff speech. Come on ! We all know hes been preparing it for months, learning it page by page night after night , and credit where credits due it was a well acted piece if not quite Olivier’s Hamlet.

Sadly the Tories still let themselves down, John Harris’ excellent piece in The Guardian (Here ) shows that their approach to The NHS for example is even more worrying than Gordos (and of course race , but thats another story) Not really a wise move to represent nurses in a charity calender not as well educated , dedicated health professionals , but as public school boy wank fantasies. Not really going to get them on your side is it eh chaps? Of course Sid the sexist types will say the sexual objectification of female nurses is of course “harmless fun,” (See MP and New-man, Tim Laughton’s justification here ) and the only people objecting are the humorless Millie Tant types and hairy legged lesbians, Oh and not forgetting the ” You know what she needs “ brigade….. sadly its still 1974 in some peoples heads.

So Davey boy, unscripted or not , its not quite “Whoose Line Is It Anyway?” Nope it’s still more a case of “Carry On Dick”

David Cameron Insists Boris “A Serious Contender For London Mayors Job”

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David Cameron has insisted that  twice sacked  Boris Johnson was not a last resort as they sought a high profile candidate to challenge Ken Livinsgtone in next years Mayoral elections. “Boris is very serious about his candidature  and if selected would be a genuine contender for the post” said Cameron, keeping a remarkably straight face . Meanwhile at another photo call, Boris showed off his latest idea for environmentally friendly travel around the capital…..

Daily Mail Crank Up Anti-Gordon Brown Campaign

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This is really a response to a headline which I’d spotted in the Daily Express entitled “The Madness Of Gordon Brown”. ,(The Mail And The Express are renowned for their unhysterical and reasonable journalism,) in which it claimed Big Gordo wants all our kids to learn Urdu and all school uniforms will be replaced by berkas. He also plans to remove the word “Great” from Great Britain, prescribe free garlic for the under fives and is apparently planning an amnesty on sausages before a total ban. All the tabloids are fairly ludicrous but the Mail pips it for me with their ridiculous rants and po-faced missives on of the “culture of fear ” promoting paranoia on a daily basis, a world in which  around every corner there is a terrorist/asylum seeker or hoodie waiting to pounce. The poor journalists must be shitting themselves.  The paper really has gone beyond self parody, it’s everyman for himself and trust nobody ….Theres nothing like well balanced journalism and this is ,well…., nothing like it .

David Cameron In Policy Shocker

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The shock being that he has one , not so shocking was, its a bit shit and a bit like “back to basics ” and when it comes down to it, he hasn’t really decided how it will work . Still hes’s used the “broken down Britain” soundbite quite a bit , although hes not sure about that either.

Alastair Campbell – The Video Diaries -Found!

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Alastair And Tony, the story about a forbidden and secretive relationship between two cowboys and their lives over the years.

The Alastair Campbell Diaries

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Yup Blairs right arm (?) Alastair Campbell publishes his “warts and all account” of life at No.10 . Promising it to be hard hitting and truthful , one wonders when Mr Campbell became acquainted with the concept of ” truth ?” Excerpts thus far include the following gushing references to Tony Blair (or “TB “as Toxic Ali calls him ) ” His performance today had been superb“and “he did a brilliant put down to the Lib Dems” followed by yet more badly written fawning “TB was good in the use of language and captured the sense of ocassion “ or how about the arse-licking beauty of “TB had definately come out on top-His performance today had been brilliant” zzzzzz.

In possibly the least shocking revelation in the history of the world ..like….EVER, Ali tells us that “TB” once stated “Its important I understood why parts Of Thatcherisim are right” , and ” What gives me a real edge is that I`m not as Labour as you lot. ” GASP!!! WELL I NEVER . That Mr Tony certainly pulled the wool over the eyes of the party membership.Why I always thought he was a dyed in the wool socialist and no mistake?

Campbell goes on to recall, with misty eyed nostalgia the day TB parachuted behind enemy lines and rescued several western hostages disarming their captors using only his ready smile and sincere rhetoric ……Hopefully the book will include a free sick bag!

PS. I’m starting to get the notion that TB actually stand for Total Bollocks