BBC To Investigate Claims Of Product Placement

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It’s been a bad month or two for the Beeb , first the phone-in scandals , then the “misleading editing” . Now they are to review a number of shows to investigate claims of “product placement”.

This of course is nothing new , and is in fact set to increase, despite protestations from script writers “We’re not interested in injuring revenues on which we all depend,” the heads of the two Writers Guild branches wrote to their members. “But when writers are asked to construct stories around and for the benefit of potato chips or soft drinks, when our members are asked not only to be storytellers but advertisement copywriters as well, then things are getting out of hand. Writers must have greater input and control of this process.”

It is also slowly creeping into the world of pop , with Black Eyed Pea, Fergie, apparently agreeing to promote clothing within her song lyrics for the sum of $ 4 Million. Interscope records state”With record sales in decline, you must find novel ways to make money out of the music. The trick is to make the brand part of the song so that it slips down easily rather than chokes the fan. C****ie’s will have no say over exactly what Fergie will sing, or when. Fergie does not sing jingles so it will have to work unobtrusively in the song.” “My Humps, My Humps ,My Humps My Silver Spoon Sponsored  Sugar Lumps .” Yeah Right !

Of course with the arrival of technology that allows the viewer to completely bypass adverts , TV shows and Hollywood Studios will be looking at innovative ways to increase the non too subtle presence of advertising.

To see to what extent placement has taken over the movies have a look here

The Crazy World Of Kate Nash-Belated Birthday Greetings

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Well we have been somewhat remiss here at The Von Pip Express. We totally forgot about one of our favorite singers birthdays. Still we did send Kate Nash some belated gifts, which she appeared to be quite delighted with ! Wicked!

Boris Johnson Insists He Will Be A “Credible” Candidate For London

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The Tories had been struggling to find a high-profile candidate to take on Ken Livingstone in the London Mayor elections. Greg Dyke, Sir John Major and Sir Digby Jones were not persuaded to stand. The Conservatives were forced to delay the deadline for applications amid reports that no candidates of sufficient prominence had put themselves forward…until today………..at last they have a credible candidate….Ta-Dah,… I give you… Boris  Yeltsin Johnson

Later that day……….Boris tries to win over potential voters by visiting a local mosque

Beckham Mania Reaches Fever Pitch

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David Beckhams arrival in America provokes scenes not seen in the US since “Beatlemania” ,………….. or possibly not

The Crazy World Of Kate Nash

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After a recent photo shoot Kate Nash’s management deny they are pushing the “chavtronic” image too hard . (Nice car though-bet she can’t wait to get “innit”)

Nb/ Just to be clear , as I get the odd message off idiots. This is a joke, yeah? Iam in reality a big fan of Ms Nash’s music Ok ? Seriously she’s fantastic, so lighten up… respect, innit, wicked!

The Alastair Campbell Diaries

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Yup Blairs right arm (?) Alastair Campbell publishes his “warts and all account” of life at No.10 . Promising it to be hard hitting and truthful , one wonders when Mr Campbell became acquainted with the concept of ” truth ?” Excerpts thus far include the following gushing references to Tony Blair (or “TB “as Toxic Ali calls him ) ” His performance today had been superb“and “he did a brilliant put down to the Lib Dems” followed by yet more badly written fawning “TB was good in the use of language and captured the sense of ocassion “ or how about the arse-licking beauty of “TB had definately come out on top-His performance today had been brilliant” zzzzzz.

In possibly the least shocking revelation in the history of the world ..like….EVER, Ali tells us that “TB” once stated “Its important I understood why parts Of Thatcherisim are right” , and ” What gives me a real edge is that I`m not as Labour as you lot. ” GASP!!! WELL I NEVER . That Mr Tony certainly pulled the wool over the eyes of the party membership.Why I always thought he was a dyed in the wool socialist and no mistake?

Campbell goes on to recall, with misty eyed nostalgia the day TB parachuted behind enemy lines and rescued several western hostages disarming their captors using only his ready smile and sincere rhetoric ……Hopefully the book will include a free sick bag!

PS. I’m starting to get the notion that TB actually stand for Total Bollocks

 

Pete Doherty Watch – Kate Moss Hits Back

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Meanwhile just beyond the enchanted forest , things are hotting up in la-la land……………………..

Kate Moss has denied that supermodels promote anorexia with their ridiculously stick thin bodies. “I eat a normal healthy diet” said Kate yesterday .“Most models do actually you know? Breakfast consists of two rounds of toast which I generously waft under my nose, before putting them in the recycling bin…. I recycle all my food one way or another . Lunch is normally at Sadie’s (Frost) where she prepares me a delicious grape, an ecstasy tablet and some laxatives . My main meal which I share with my boyfriend and modern day poet Peter (If he’s managed to avoid the Police ) consists of a take- away meal ,which smells lovely and gets my digestive juices burning off those nasty calories. I very much enjoy watching Peter eat, the way he drools and dribbles is just adorable!…. Are you telling me that’s not healthy ?” Disturbingly at this point Kate’s eyes glazed over and she started to chant in an unnaturally high sing-sing voice “Being thin is the most important thing in life; Thin is beautiful and good / obese is ugly and bad; You must feel very guilty every time you eat”

UK smoking ban takes effect 1/07/2007

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Foul smelling , manufactured to hook youngsters, toxic , full of shite, a total waste of money, a product of faceless corporations designed at maximising profits ? Yes The Spice Girls are back !

Well I`ll tell you what I want what I really really want ?

I want you all to F**k Off

Pete Doherty Watch

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June 2007 – With 181 shopping days left to Christmas the high street retailers are already preparing their seasonal campaigns ……The “Iceland ” food chain unveil Kerry Katona’s new partner for a series of traditional festive ads to be broadcast from November 2007