The Poetry Of Boris Johnson

Anti-Boris Johnson, Boris Johnson, Conservative, Conservative Party, Jay-Z, Ken Livingstone, Literature, London, London Mayor, Poetry, The Perils of the Pushy Parents., Tories, Tory, Tory Party, UK News, UK NEWS HEADLINES

Well the nations favourite bumbling, cretinous, interbred albino buffoon has decided that, not content with standing as candidate for London mayor, what we really need is a dose of Bo-Jo’s Wildean wit and stunningly clever verse. Yes his remarkable book which concerns a fictional family who refuse to let their children watch TV is certainly something that has left me quite astonished …… he certainly proves that when it comes to “rhyming and stealing” Jay-Z has nothing to worry about. More inane rhymes I venture, have not been published since….well …since the dawn of time, Johnson remarkably makes me yearn for the unbearable gibberish of the highly irritating Dr Zeuss. In fact I thought Welsh Football coach and ex-Liverpool player John Toshack’s Dylan Thomas-esque book of verse “Gosh It’s Tosh” would take some beating :-Coming in to land at Speke/My legs are feeling very weak/We’ve just returned from Barcelona/and now I’m going for a sauna.” But this is akin to WB Yeats compared to Boris’ efforts, check out these nuggets and tell me that Bozza’s time studying the classics wasn’t money well spent

“He’d zap the programme off and holler/’Go and read some Emile Zola.” – Profound in the extreme – I wager Zola would have saved the French government a job and actually blocked his own chimney to breathe in that sweet carbon monoxide if he’d have known he would have been name-checked within such facile tommy rot. But wait Boris has more gems for the discerning reader

“Behold them, reader, and despair:their lolling eyes, their glassy stare,

this formerly dynamic pair-In a double-seat wheelchair.” (WTF!!!!)

Despair indeed , and this from a man who was once “Tory Arts Champion” and stated in 2004 that he wished “to reverse the decline of verse” ….Yes the Boris Johnson “Make Poetry History” campaign has got off to a flyer!

Harry Potter Help Line Set Up!

Books, HArry Potter, Harry Potter An dThe Deathly Hallows, harry potter counseling line, HArry Potter World Exclusive, Humour, JK Rowling, John McEnroe, Literature, Media, Muggles, News, Popular Culture, Teen, UK Media, UK NEWS HEADLINES, UK weather forcast, War On Terror, World News

A national children’s helpline says it’s ready to deal with calls from Potter fans who may feel emotionally traumatised after the final book in the series is published. Childline took a large volume of calls from teens who were upset when Take That split in 1996 and say a similar reaction may occur with the end of the Potter books.

It said “the death of any of the major characters in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows could be very hard on younger readers.” Dearie me, are we so emotionally retarded that we need counseling for fictional characters now ? Has the world gone completely mad ? Can they really be serious ?

Personally I was gutted when Sirius Black was killed off …sniffle.. DEAL WITH IT …ITS NOT REAL !

Harry Potter Mania, Plus New Twist

Books, Daniel Radcliffe, Fantasy Literature, HArry Potter, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, HArry Potter World Exclusive, JK Rowling, Literature, Muggles

And still on a literary note ……its almost time for the final installment of the publishing phenomenon that is “Harry Potter ” to be unveiled. However in an unforeseen plot twist , “The Von Pip Express “can reveal exclusively that there may yet be more mileage to be gleaned from the series….