The sound of sobbing echoed through the corridors of the VP Express this week. It transpired that some amongst us had finally ended our long journey sharing the wonderful adventures of one Mr H. Potter. Copies of the final novel in this marvellous series lay scattered about the office, many sodden in tears, as we bid a painful farewell to Harry and his brave chums.
But fear not help is at hand, using only the finest magical herbs including gillyweed, flitterbloom, fluxweed and gurdyroot we have produced a sure fire homeopathic remedy to chase the blues away. From the same people who brought you “Lightning Scar” Migraine relief, Andus Campbledore & Co. Ltd gives you..
Ps. Could somebody maybe run the wands thing by me again though ?
A national children’s helpline says it’s ready to deal with calls from Potter fans who may feel emotionally traumatised after the final book in the series is published. Childline took a large volume of calls from teens who were upset when Take That split in 1996 and say a similar reaction may occur with the end of the Potter books.
It said “the death of any of the major characters in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows could be very hard on younger readers.” Dearie me, are we so emotionally retarded that we need counseling for fictional characters now ? Has the world gone completely mad ? Can they really be serious ?
Personally I was gutted when Sirius Black was killed off …sniffle.. DEAL WITH IT …ITS NOT REAL !
And still on a literary note ……its almost time for the final installment of the publishing phenomenon that is “Harry Potter ” to be unveiled. However in an unforeseen plot twist , “The Von Pip Express “can reveal exclusively that there may yet be more mileage to be gleaned from the series….