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Are David Cameron And Jeremy Kyle The Same Person ?

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Well I’ve never seen them together, they have the same finger jabbing pomposity , the same narcissistic desire to be taken seriously and both shout for no good reason. Oh and they ooze fake sincerity and  patronise and preen like strutting peacocks…I really can’t tell them apart these days.


Jeremy Kyle, yesterday

David Cameron wins out, jabbing a finger  at  bumbling Gordon, in Parliament yesterday

If You Believe David Cameron…..

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….he appears to think he is setting the political agenda, yes  he is pulling the strings and Gordon is dancing to his tune…..(that’s if you believe David Cameron….) Frightening really, that the Jeremy Kyle of Parliament is becoming rather more popular than he was some six weeks back

He also seems to think that all the best policy decisions made by any political party over the last 40 years have been his and his alone….. hmmmmm…mind you his family album shows Davey boy has always been one step ahead of the game…

The Dignity Of Parliament

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Yes, there’s nothing like well reasoned argument, mutual respect, and good manners , and yesterday in the House of Commons was nothing like it. Brown referred to the whole ill tempered episode as “Punch And Judy Politics” . If he’d have been “down with the kids, daddio” like Facebook loving Davey Cameron, he might have referred to it as Jeremy Kyle politics……

Come On Prime Minister, you are not the biological father of the inheritance tax policy are you ? We’ll have the results of the lie detector test after the break,”

So with a “yah, a boo” and dare I venture a “hiss” I submit…….is that really the way to do it ??

Listen to highlights of the most intellectual parliamentary exchange in years below

Cameron Denies Making Up Story About Unruly Schoolboy

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David Cameron has been charged with fabricating a story about an unruly schoolboy for political gain, see original story here . Cameron denies his story was a complete work of fiction dreamt up by the Tory spin machine……..reports that Richmal Crompton’s estate are to sue have yet to be confirmed

Carry On Cameron- David Cameron Gets The Green Light

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Click Below To Hear the New Conservative Party Theme Tune

Oh how fickle are opinion polls, a week ago Eton Trifle David Cameron was less popular than a pool party at Michael Barrymore’s gaffe. Golden Brown and Ming The Mirthless were proving to be considerably more popular with the general public and Cameron was universally loathed and despised.

But hey a weeks a long time in politics and after Cameron’s extraordinary conference display its a case of “Everybody Loves Davey.” But what the devil caused such a miraculous transformation ? Did he announce radical new policies , did he turn water into wine , well the latter’s more likely than the former for Davey boy to be honest … but nope he performed ….a conference speech without strings wires or a safety net , yes, he didn’t have an auto cue (collective gasp!) Politically it may be a brave thing to do, and certainly it was spun in such a way that the fact that a politician has a memory and can form sentences is something that should,quite reasonably, secure Cameron the keys to Number 10 until the end of time if not longer ( Sorry Ming , your out old son.) But those who whisper in revered tones “it was unscripted” seem to be under the false impression it was some sort of improv off the cuff speech. Come on ! We all know hes been preparing it for months, learning it page by page night after night , and credit where credits due it was a well acted piece if not quite Olivier’s Hamlet.

Sadly the Tories still let themselves down, John Harris’ excellent piece in The Guardian (Here ) shows that their approach to The NHS for example is even more worrying than Gordos (and of course race , but thats another story) Not really a wise move to represent nurses in a charity calender not as well educated , dedicated health professionals , but as public school boy wank fantasies. Not really going to get them on your side is it eh chaps? Of course Sid the sexist types will say the sexual objectification of female nurses is of course “harmless fun,” (See MP and New-man, Tim Laughton’s justification here ) and the only people objecting are the humorless Millie Tant types and hairy legged lesbians, Oh and not forgetting the ” You know what she needs “ brigade….. sadly its still 1974 in some peoples heads.

So Davey boy, unscripted or not , its not quite “Whoose Line Is It Anyway?” Nope it’s still more a case of “Carry On Dick”

Human-Animal Embryo Study Wins Approval

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Mixing cells and eggs is to be allowed in the search for new medical treatments. However this is not really news if you come from the sort of family where going to Eton and Balliol comes naturally. This sort of interbreeding has been going on for years. Sadly the results can often be quite horrific….

Under Fire Cameron Defends Rwandan Trip

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David Cameron has defended his visit to Rwanda despite many voters and parliamentarians criticising him for not cancelling due to the severe flooding in his constituency. This trip also coincided with a number of newspapers turning a critical eye on Mps travel expenses . The Daily Wail says the total paid out to cover travel,and other costs rose by an above-inflation 5.5%. Of course Mr Cameron, would never fiddle his expenses or demand first class travel and five star accommodation, would he?

“Voters Turning Against Cameron?”

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David Cameron is losing his appeal to voters, according to a recent Guardian/ICM poll which suggests that many Conservative voters are losing their enthusiasm for the Tory leader. It also shows that he is no longer attracting new support to the party.

He just cant compete with the “Brown Bounce” factor , but what on God’s green earth is “Brown Bounce ?” ..Let me attempt to explain…..

Daily Mail Ready To Attack Ken Livingstone (Again)

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Yup the Dail Mail announced it will back Boris Johnson in the London Mayoral election if he wins the Tory nomination , so watch out for attacks on Ken Livingstone and his” loony left Cuban loving cronies”. Possibly along the lines of “Vote For Ken And He’ll Corrupt Your Children With Books Such As ….

” This of course will lead to Daily Mail readers cowering in the corners mumbling “I always new Red Ken was a bad lot, what we need is Homeland Security”

David Cameron Insists Boris “A Serious Contender For London Mayors Job”

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David Cameron has insisted that  twice sacked  Boris Johnson was not a last resort as they sought a high profile candidate to challenge Ken Livinsgtone in next years Mayoral elections. “Boris is very serious about his candidature  and if selected would be a genuine contender for the post” said Cameron, keeping a remarkably straight face . Meanwhile at another photo call, Boris showed off his latest idea for environmentally friendly travel around the capital…..

David Cameron In Policy Shocker

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The shock being that he has one , not so shocking was, its a bit shit and a bit like “back to basics ” and when it comes down to it, he hasn’t really decided how it will work . Still hes’s used the “broken down Britain” soundbite quite a bit , although hes not sure about that either.