“I’m No Judas” Says John Terry!

Chelsea, Football, John Terry judas, Jose Mourinho, Judas, Roman Abramovich, Soccer, UK Media, UK NEWS HEADLINES, UK sport

John Terry could take legal action after claims that he is a ‘Judas’ who betrayed “The Special One” Jose Mourhino to the “Roman” Empire. Various reports have suggested that the Chelsea captain was the catalyst behind Mourinho’s exit from the club. The Observer in particular suggested that ‘Mourinho holds Terry responsible for charges levelled by Chelsea’s board of directors that he had lost the support of his playing staff’. The VP Express has no opinion on this matter but it should be pointed out that Terry is reported to receive 130,000 pieces of silver per week (!!) from Roman.

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Blue Peter Cat At Centre Of New Viewer Row

Andy Akinwolere, Animals, BBC, BBC Admits Mistakes, BBC Editing, Blue Peter, Cat, Gethin Jones, Kids TV, Konnie Huq, Phone In Scanal, Pussy Cat, showbiz, TV, UK Media, UK NEWS HEADLINES, Valerie Singleton, Zoe Salmon

This has undoubtedly been the worst year in the history of the flagship BBC children’s show “Blue Peter” since Valerie Singleton and Peter Duncan were caught on camera performing a “lewd act” involving John Leslie and Wiffles the Chimp. Producers of the show deceived thousands of young viewers for a second time in a year by ignoring their votes to choose a name for the show’s kitten, the BBC said on Thursday.

The Show’s producers asked children to help name the cat in a vote, only to ignore the result without telling the audience. The winning name was apparently deemed “inappropriate” by the shows producers, who in their wisdom, decided on the incongruous, and lets face it , highly offensive, name ..”Socks”

The World Beard and Moustache Championships 2007

Beards, Facial Hair, Football, Liverpool FC

Yes this week saw more than 250 hairy faced contestants from around the world enter the finals in Brighton, the first time the event has been held in the UK. Brighton was chosen as the venue as it has an unusually high tolerance for freakish absurdity (ie/The Kooks)

However one contestant was said to be ” absolutely gutted” and “as sick as a parrot”. Soccer pundit and newly bearded gadabout,  Alan Hansen was devastated that his efforts had  come to nought.

Twenty three year old Jack Passion of San Francisco won for best full, natural beard, to which Hansen retorted ” Twenty three ? – You cant win anything with kids, its an absolute disgrace, shocking ! I don’t think anyone enjoyed it. Apart from the people who watched it. The lad had Passion, no question, and at the end of the day, I lost because I didn’t win.  I never make predictions, and I never will, but the thing is if history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again next year. ”


Human-Animal Embryo Study Wins Approval

Animal Testing, Boris Johnson, Buffoon, Business news, Capitalisim, Clown, Daily Express, Daily Mail, David Cameron, Embryo, Humour, London, London Mayor, Medicine, News, Party Politics, Press, Science, UK NEWS HEADLINES

Mixing cells and eggs is to be allowed in the search for new medical treatments. However this is not really news if you come from the sort of family where going to Eton and Balliol comes naturally. This sort of interbreeding has been going on for years. Sadly the results can often be quite horrific….