Morrissey : She was “barbaric” and “without an atom of humanity”, adding that “every move she made was charged by negativity She hated feminists even though it was largely due to the progression of the women’s movement that the British people allowed themselves to accept that a prime minister could actually be female. But because of Thatcher, there will never again be another woman in power in British politics, and rather than opening that particular door for other women, she closed it.”.
The BBC keep on saying that some found her controversial. That’s not true…we hated her. Still do. Always will.
Even the Pope, allegedly
But not the who of course will seek to reinvent and detoxify Margaret Thatcher’s pernicious ideology and poisonous legacy… Let the Disneyfication begin
And of the funeral…something fitting ……
Ken Loach - Mass Unemployment, factory closures, communities destroyed – this is her legacy. She was a fighter and her enemy was the British working class. Her victories were aided by the politically corrupt leaders of the Labour Party and of many Trades Unions. It is because of policies begun by her that we are in this mess today.
Other prime ministers have followed her path, notably Tony Blair. She was the organ grinder, he was the monkey.
Remember she called Mandela a terrorist and took tea with the torturer and murderer Pinochet.
How should we honour her? Let’s privatise her funeral. Put it out to competitive tender and accept the cheapest bid. It’s what she would have wanted.
No State funeral for ….
This is not a time for celebration. The death of Margaret Thatcher is nothing more than a salient reminder of how Britain got into the mess that we are in today. Of why ordinary working people are no longer able to earn enough from one job to support a family; of why there is a shortage of decent affordable housing; of why domestic growth is driven by credit, not by real incomes; of why tax-payers are forced to top up wages; of why a spiteful government seeks to penalise the poor for having an extra bedroom; of why Rupert Murdoch became so powerful; of why cynicism and greed became the hallmarks of our society.
Raising a glass to the death of an infirm old lady changes none of this. The only real antidote to cynicism is activism. Don’t celebrate – organise!
“She’s not been gone more than a few hours, and already the national media have cranked into gear and begun the blandly respectful eulogies – at their most critical they seem to be only able to say: ‘She polarised opinion … what’s certain is how much of an impact she made on Britain … etc etc’
Twitter set off at a pace with a thousand ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’ messages only to be followed by a slew of bleeding heart liberals bemoaning the fact that people were daring to celebrate someone’s death.
Pah! Let’s make it clear: This is a cause to celebrate, to party, to stamp the dirt down. Tomorrow we can carry on shouting and writing and working and singing and striking against the successive governments that have so clearly followed Thatcher’s Slash & Burn policies, none more so than the present lot. But for now, we can have a drink and a dance and propose a toast to the demise of someone who blighted so many people’s lives for so long.
If we must show a little reverence and decorum at this time, then so be it. Our deepest sympathies go out to the families of all Margaret Thatcher’s victims.
Chumbawamba, 8th April 2013″
And Essential Reading From David Stubbs In The Quietus
- Margaret Thatcher: Still More Alive Than She Herself Dared To Dream (thequietus.com)
- Is Thatcher Dead Yet? website creators face Twitter threats (guardian.co.uk)
- Maggie Thatcher’s Funeral: put it up for tender? (markosun.wordpress.com)
There’s no escaping Ms Beeny, she’s back on the box with Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare AND Sarah Beeny’s Selling Houses. To celebrate this double SB whammy here’s something we wrote for the “Orkney Bugle” about her last show Double Your House for Half the Money
There was a time when property development/interior design shows were feted as the new rock n’ roll. Designers such as Primark dandy Laurence Llewellyn Bowen and interior designer come mariners’ navigational device, Yorkshire foghorn Linda Barker were inescapable. They happily fuelled the aspirational and thoroughly deluded notion that we could all become rich beyond the dreams of avarice by transforming ourselves into property tycoons. At the same time, we were also encouraged to express our individuality via the medium of interior design. This inevitably led to Joe and Josephine Public boldly experimenting with the sort of psychedelic colour schemes that Ken Kesey‘s Merry Pranksters would have rejected out of hand on the grounds of being too mind-bendingly garish!
However, the recession, caused in no small part by the specious view that the property bubble would continue to expand ad infinitum meant that the property development/interior design TV show format needed to have a major rethink and review just how they could reconnect with viewers.
Nowadays such shows are not about buying and selling per se, but instead they have refocused with the emphasis being on how to improve our homes and in doing so, save money. This brings us onto Channel 4′s “Double Your House for Half the Price,” a brand new property series fronted by the property developer’s answer to Mariella Frostrup, Sarah Beeny. The showsraison d’être reads thus “We really wanted to show people that they can turn their existing home into their ‘forever home’ for a lot less than it would cost them to move-the challenge is to increase the size of their property by up to 100%, and so create their perfect home at a fraction of the cost.” –
The show’s strength is of course Ms. Beeny who brings an authoritative yet calming presence to proceedings. She comes across as empathetic, knowledgeable, and in times of the inevitable crises that develop during the show, almost as reassuring as Morgan Freeman in “The Shawshank Redemption.” Remarkably after the first series of “Property Ladder“, the show that gave Beeny her big TV break, Channel 4 were prepared to let her go, due to the fact that the shows aspiring property magnates, blinded by cupidity rarely paid heed to her tips. And her tips are hard to ignore, for as in her previous TV outings she is almost upstaged by … her ever-prominent nipples! These are nipples so impressive and imbued with such power that even a thick leather jacket fails to mask their unerring ability to remain permanently erect. One can’t help but feel that even the slightest drop in temperature could result in an internal wall being completely demolished. Essentially this show is “Property Ladder” meets “Grand Designs” albeit on a smaller recession friendly scale. However, the projects chosen avoid being overtly ostentatious but still manage to retain a certain “wow factor” as the final “reveal” is shared with the viewers. After all watching somebody construct a new electricity cupboard in a terraced house in Birkenhead, no matter how enthusiastically, would not exactly result in great TV.
Despite the property crash this style of show, which has become something of a Channel 4 staple, remains strangely compelling even if they do induce a vague sense of dissatisfaction with your own home. However you can seek solace in the fact that whilst the housing market has flattened and the yield curve has inverted, Sarah’s redoubtable nipples remain as impressively perky as ever.
As BBC Commission New Xmas Special
Full story HERE – TAKE THAT !
Yesterday’s Leveson inqury was once again interrupted, this time in the form of an elderly wild eyed Italian gentleman who claimed he was Jeremy Hunt‘s long lost father. Known only as Mister Gepetto and describing his occupation as “Toy maker” he was clearly overwhelmed with emotion “Its just like a fairy story” he said, “we’ve been apart for so long but I knew one day we’d be reunited. I do worry about “Jeremy” as he likes to be called nowadays, because one day we hope he will grow up to be a real boy ,but only if he is kind and honest and true, the blue fairy said so”.
Geppetto stated he was looking forward to getting home to his “family” consisting of a goldfish (“Cleo”) and a cat (“Figaro”) ” there will be much music and dancing ” He also spoke emotionally about a cricket named “Jiminy”, who it transpires wears a top hat and is allegedly Pinocchio’s Jeremy’s official conscience, and also of an island where little boys turn into asses (the house of commons?)
“Mister Geppetto” is currently being detained in a secure unit for his own safety pending an assessment of his mental health, Jeremy Hunt remains in government and thus his chances of growing up to be a “real boy” are considered remote.
Click pictures for large versions .
I would very much recommend the two following articles for further reading.
- London riots: Why are Britons rioting? (slate.com)
- Riots: Chance to shop ANOTHER moron (thesun.co.uk)
- London Burning – Pictures of Tottenham Riot (vault9.net)
- London riots (angelsbeauty.wordpress.com)
- VIDEO: Swift justice after London riots (bbc.co.uk)
- About The Iconic London Riots Photo (bagnewsnotes.com)
- Dramatic Pictures Of The London Riots (businessinsider.com)
- [Photos]: Riots Destroy Londoners’ Lives (buzz103.radio.com)
- ‘That’s My Car on Fire’: The Top 8 Tweets from London’s Riots (newsfeed.time.com)
- Riots! (filipspagnoli.wordpress.com)
Original Story here
In Defence of Britains Got Talent. ( Well not really.)
The cultural phenomenon that is “Britain’s Got Talent” has been back with us for a few weeks, sucking out our brains like some sort of televisual zombie, feasting on our inertia, wallowing in our apathy and as is the way with a Simon Cowell ‘format’ it never makes the mistake of under estimating the great British public’s insatiable appetite for mind numbing shite.
My dislike for ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ and all it stands for is based purely and simply on my pervious, soul shrivelling experiences of all things Cowellian. Robson And Jerome, Zig And Zag, Sinitta, that little prick Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole . . . need I go on ? His crimes against popular culture are numerous, heinous and unrelenting. Yet incredibly, having studiously avoided “ BGT” for a number of years my view and possibly my brain had started to soften, maybe I’d been a little harsh – after all, it’s just ‘a bit of fun ‘isn’t it ? Maybe it’s improved immeasurably since I was harrowed to the very core of my being by the likes of Susan Boyle and the ‘side splitting’ antics of Stavros Flatley. And so I decided in order to have a valid contemporary opinion I should at least give the show another viewing. To this end I have just spent the last hour on youtube and ITV.com observing people who have at the very least, an inflated sense of their own ability and at worst are seriously mentally ill, but enough about the judges . Of the contestants you can’t help but wish their parents had said ‘ No little Jenny, you do NOT have the voice of Maria Callas, but serving happy meals might be something you’d like to consider as a career option.’ There is certainly a lot to be said for tough love. The so called expert judges including for this series, Britain’s unfunniest (but possibly most annoying man,) Michael McIntyre, perform their scripted roles with the deftness of a charging elephant and effect spontaneity with all the confidence of Jean Claude Van Damme playing Hamlet . But of course that’s not the issue here, this is after all , as people keep telling me ‘just a bit of fun’.
Watching the ‘highlights’ has been a spirit crushing experience and has left me feeling tainted, depressed and lobotomised by the sheer stupidity of this lamentable charade. The on screen ring masters, two gurning vertically challenged, stage school, millionaire Geordie luvvies, giggle, guffaw and simulate conspiratorial ironic exasperation in order to connect with the TV audience at home, a skill which has rather bafflingly seen them regaled as national treasures.
And ‘connect’ is the crucial word here, because for all its faults, it’s unremitting shitness and it’s spirit crushing crassness, ‘Britain’s Got Talent ‘does one thing extremely well. It understands it’s audience and fills the emptiness in their life. Simply put it fills a void with a void. Cowell may not understand what makes a great song, he may not understand the avant garde, he may be terrified of the artist who wants to push boundaries and challenge the status quo, but he understands implicitly how to make money from defending the status quo. Cowell’s skill is turd polishing and presentation, essentially he appropriates various elements from redundant TV formats, the variety show, the talent show, the pantomime and like Dr. Victor Frankenstein re-assembles these parts to create a monster. Not unlike Cheryl Cole, initially it appears to be beautifully constructed, stylish and represent ….. and there’s the rub , and represent what exactly???. Because the truth is “BGT” is the antithesis of talent, it is a vapid , empty sexless piece of contrived propaganda, which assumes the public is a bovine herd made up of fatuous indolent idiots.
It was once said that people knew exactly what they were doing when Martin LutherKing was assassinated or when JFK lost an ill advised game of head tennis with a bullet. They remember the shock when Lennon was murdered and were stopped in their tracks when news that Elvis had ‘left the building’ -permanently. Yet nowadays ‘BGT’ is fawned over by the media and presented as having the same cultural significance as the aforementioned events. And of course we all know exactly where we were , sitting on the fucking couch, gorging on kettle chips, complicit and acquiescent in the dumbing down of ‘event TV.’ You see Cowells leathery withered gonads have ‘tea-bagged’ popular culture and his only contribution to it is to create a generation of couch potatoes who talk with misty eyed reverence about the first time they saw and heard their hairy angel spirit guide, Susan Boyle. And that’s what ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ gives us, something that we all crave as social animals, the collective experience, it’s just a shame it’s such a fucking shit one, the televisual equivalent of holding your lighter aloft at a Chris De Burgh concert whilst shitting into an empty polystyrene fish and chip tray. It’s a parallel universe were bad is good, wrong is right a world were the mundane is GOD, where innovation is crushed, talent is feared and where the banal ultimately triumphs, it IS the lowest common denominator made flesh. To quote Bill Hicks ” They’re so good, and so clean-cut, and they’re such a good image for the children.” Fuck that! When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children? I want my children listening to people who fucking rocked!“
People have called me a snob, of being a killjoy, of trying to spoil their fun with some sort of elitist agenda, but the reality is that surely there is nothing more elitist than sitting on your expensive couch with your nice middle class friends sneering and sniggering from your perceived position of superiority as people’s dreams are dismantled by the very rich in the name of cheap nasty entertainment. These ‘tastemakers’ contribute nothing of worth to popular culture, they debase it, using it as a vehicle to promote their own empty ‘brand.’ They take and give NOTHING back. ‘BGT’ is Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle style bear baiting with a karaoke machine, jugglers and synchronised dancing.
In essence I was right to despise the crass manipulative nastiness of Britain’s Got Talent, but now after revisiting it , I not only loathe the show , I also pity the eleven million plus who regularly lap up this drivel. ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ is a void inside a vacuum, a hateful hat ful of hollow and Oscar Wilde’s epigram ‘Public opinion exists only where there are no ideas’ could well be the shows tag-line. It is a show made by manipulative lazy cunts to be enjoyed by lazy complicit acquiescent cunts. When popular culture finally draws it’s last breath and all we have left are ‘Syco’ approved power ballads and REO Speedwagon tribute bands what will your excuse be ? .. “I couldn’t be arsed??” – We really do deserve better.
“The view from number 10 is incredibly sexy, particularly at night with the moon and the glow from the old gas lamps. When David and I were first courting we used to walk along the South Bank and look at the Houses of Parliament. I never realised then how sexy I would find living under Big Dave with his bells chiming.
Politicians as a breed, aside from maybe Eric Pickles, aren’t particularly sexy but I think politics can be sexy because power is an aphrodisiac. I can’t enough of it . Since Dave became Prime Minister, the number of women who hit him has gone up dramatically. I don’t get jealous because more men hit me too. I think it’s hilarious and extremely flattering that I’ve been referred to as the Barry Chuckle of British politics.
I don’t mind people knowing about my history of one-night stands, broken promises and alcoholism. I was a bit souped-up when I was Leon Brittain’s European Union policy adviser in my twenties. I’m not proud of it but I’m not ashamed either. I do feel sexier now I’m older and I’ve stopped drinking. I think I grew up in my thirties and gained control of myself.
For dates I like to go somewhere down to earth, and you can’t get more low brow than crawling in Hell’s gutter on a double date with Rebekah Brooks and James Murdoch. I’ve got a sweet tooth so I find puddings, particularly chocolate, very sexy and it also helps sweeten the bitter pill Lib Dems have been forced to swallow of late. This Valentine’s Day, David is destroying the country in the evening, so I will probably be eating a Chinese takeaway and a bar of chocolate on my own upstairs…just waiting to feel his touch, to bask in his glory and hopefully enjoy mutual approbation later. The most romantic thing I’ve ever done for David is to allow him to f*ck me and my party up our collective arse. He’s a very lucky man. “
- “Nick Clegg Waiting on Spine Donor” (vonpip.wordpress.com)
- Nick Clegg laughs off reports he finishes at 3pm (bbc.co.uk)
- Sally Bercow: Bedsheet photo made me look an idiot (guardian.co.uk)
- Westminster is sexy says Mrs Speaker (independent.co.uk)
- Speaker’s Wife: ‘My Husband’s A Sex Symbol’ (news.sky.com)
- Wife of UK Speaker extolls Big Ben’s sex appeal (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
- U.K. Speaker’s wife shrugs off ‘storm in a bedsheet’ (ctv.ca)
‘Ever get the feeing people are trying to tell you something ?’
Brillo bonced Newsnight Rotweiller, Jeremy Paxman recently added himself to the illustrious band of BBC broadcast journalists to reveal their subconscious feelings toward the fucking twats, ahem, excuse me, I’m sorry, I mean the coalition. This week he joined James Naughtie and Andrew Marr as the third person to mention the ‘C’ word in relation to the government when he said ‘Supposing, though, some of the people who ought to be paying taxes so the cunts, cuts aren’t so bad aren’t actually doing so.” It certainly echos what most of the country is feeling at present, so let’s enjoy them in all their glory once more…..
- Jeremy CUNT! (thevonpipexpress.wordpress.com)
- Watch: Paxman drops the C-bomb (newstatesman.com)
- Jeremy Paxman utters the C word during his Newsnight return (dailymail.co.uk)
- My hero: the BBC World Service by Jeremy Paxman (guardian.co.uk)
- Pass notes No 2,920: The c-word (guardian.co.uk)
I’ve long given up following football since Murdoch’s filthy lucre poisoned it’s well. The greed of the players now is probably on a par with bankers and despite my ambivalence towards footie it’s still annoying when these badge kissing mercenaries show little regard for their club or fans. The latest to throw his toys out of the cot is Liverpool striker Fernando Torres who has handed in a transfer request after hearing news of interest from Chelsea - They really are a shower of spoilt, pampered w**kers.
Click for Larger version
- Carlos Tevez Transfer Request Rocks Manchester City (bleacherreport.com)
- Reds reject Torres request (skysports.com)
- Chelsea Transfer News: Blues close in on £50m Fernando Torres deal (bleacherreport.com)
- “Liverpool Rejects Fernando Torres’ Transfer Request, Expects Striker to ‘Honor Commitment’ to Reds” and related posts (nesn.com)
- Liverpool FC Confirms Fernando Torres Transfer Request Rejected (sbnation.com)
- Fernando Torres just wants to win trophies, says Luis García (guardian.co.uk)
- Developing Story: Fernando Torres Hands in Transfer Request (bleacherreport.com)
- Fernando Torres Hands in Transfer Request and Demands Move This Window (bleacherreport.com)
- Liverpool Reject Transfer Request From Torres (nytimes.com)
Can I kick It ? Yes you can.
Andy Gray And Richard Keys get the boot from Sian Massey & Karen Brady.
Click for larger Image
- Andy Gray Makes More Sexist Remarks About Sian Massey: New Video (epltalk.com)
- The Last Word: How badly has Sky Sports’ reputation been damaged? (sportingo.com)
- Richard Keys Resignation The Latest, Potentially Not Last, Sky Sports Failure During Sian Massey Affair (sbnation.com)
- Andy Gray and Richard Keys have finally met their Waterloo. I’m glad | David Mitchell (guardian.co.uk)
- Audio: Richard Keys and Andy Gray mock lineswoman Sian Massey during Liverpool victory (telegraph.co.uk)
- Richard Keys resigns over ‘dark forces’ as ‘stitched-up’ Andy Gray apologises (dailymail.co.uk)
- Having a Laugh? Not For These Pundits As Discrimination in Football Arises Again (bleacherreport.com)
There has been so much written this week about the Sky Sports duo of Andy Gray and Richard Keys making disparaging remarks about females, resulting in them parting company with Sky. I won’t add too much, other than to say these two Neanderthal rock apes can talk about dark forces all they like, but they only have themselves to blame. I did get involved in some message board fun on The Guardian website; some of the views expressed in the comments section were of such vitriolic bile I found it difficult to believe I was part of the same species never mind gender. Another disquieting aspect of this whole affair is the female apologists for these two grunting arse scratching rock apes, blithely dismissing it as ‘lads banter,’ is there anything more depressing than watching a woman speaking out to defend bigotry against women?
Posh fuck-wit, Katie Hopkins, who makes Thatcher seem positively sane and well balanced actually said on BBC’s Question Time ‘I think women actually don’t want equal treatment, they couldn’t handle it if they got it. It’s a tough world out there. I think what women need to realise is that you have to toughen up, we can’t ask for equal pay, you have to be paid on performance and the results you deliver. It’s a tough world out there and I don’t think Karren Brady or any others are doing us any favours by putting this sort of debate out there. I think the art of banter is something we should be proud of as a nation. I worked for a while in the military and our forces, the best in the world, in my opinion, they survive in banter. I think we need to keep that, we need to look after it.” There’s that word again, ‘Banter’ the last refuge of the scoundrel. How somebody so thick can succeed in business is beyond me. Woman not only want equality, they quite rightly demand it !
Meanwhile the nation’s most repulsive man, dickless wonder, Jeremy Clarkson whined that Andy Gray and Richard Keys were ‘stitched up’, alas the only thing that appears to have been stitched up is Clarkson’s cranium when they removed his brain and replaced it with a small garden pea roughly the same size as his pathetic withered little testicles.
Looking at the photo above you can’t help but wonder if Mr Key’s would dismiss such disrespectful comments as ‘banter’ if they were aimed at his undoubtedly attractive daughter. Would he find it amusing if she was referred to as ‘it’ , or if somebody asked if they’d ‘smashed it? Or had been ‘hanging out the back of it? ‘ Probably not. ..
Welcome back to the 1970’s kids.
- Apprentice star Katie Hopkins on sexism (news.bbc.co.uk)
- Woman referee at centre of Sky sexism row pulled out of Saturday’s match as shamed Andy Gray and Richard Keys set to join al-Jazeera (dailymail.co.uk)
- Jeremy Clarkson attacks Sky Sports for sacking Andy Gray following Richard Keys resignation (dailymail.co.uk)
- “The Friday Question: Find Work For Andy Gray & Richard Keys!” and related posts (watchwithmothers.net)
- Brady sexism row stance criticised (mirror.co.uk)
BBC Radio 4 presenter James Naughtie had listeners of the Today programme choking on their Cornflakes this morning when he accidentally uttered the C-word after he stumbled over the pronunciation of Culture minister David Hunt’s name.
Download it here
- James Naughtie: veteran Radio 4 Today presenter in ‘Jeremy Hunt’ on-air gaffe (telegraph.co.uk)
- James Naughtie blames Dr Spooner after renaming Jeremy Hunt (guardian.co.uk)
- Naughtie slips up on Today show (bbc.co.uk)
Let’s face it, news that politicians lie is nothing new. Liberal Democrat leader and spineless political shape-shifter of no fixed ideology, Nick Clegg conned many before the election with his oily slickness during the nations first televised TV debates. Little by little the carefully constructed façade of earnest integrity, of a reasonable man who like the Danish prince, agonises with his conscience over ‘big decisions’ has been reduced to rubble. The mask has well and truly slipped to reveal a shallow fraudster with no scruples whose lack of veracity is matched only by his naked hunger for power. To wit, he really is a fucking cock-ring.
Nick Clegg before the election:
Nick Clegg after the election:
“”This is an extraordinarily difficult issue… We have stuck to the wider ambition that going to university is done in a progressive way”
In other words
Which induced a not very chastened Nick the Prick to say-
“You need to be careful. I should have been more careful perhaps in signing that pledge at the time.”
But wait !! Apparently, the Liberal Democrats were already drawing up plans to discard Nick Clegg’s flagship policy to scrap university tuition fees two months before the general election. Pity they didn’t let on to the people who voted for his pre election pledges eh ? And they call it democracy?
Nick, you see can be anyone you want him to be…whenever it suites
- The Lib Dem betrayal, part 74 (newstatesman.com)
- Student tuition fees protests: Nick Clegg says he regrets signing pre-election pledge not to increase fees (telegraph.co.uk)
- Nick Clegg: I should have been more careful in signing tuition fees pledge (guardian.co.uk)
- Clegg Faces Questions After Fees Revelation (news.sky.com)
- As the demonstrators denounce him, Nick Clegg suffers his worst half-hour in the Commons since becoming Deputy Prime Minister (telegraph.co.uk)
- Nick Clegg suffers his worst half-hour in the Commons since becoming Deputy Prime Minister (telegraph.co.uk)
Oh dear, oh dear, actor, comedian, intellectual giant and national treasure Stephen Fry has got into a bit of hot water this week. After ‘tweeting‘ pictures from the set of the latest Harry Potter movie, Warner Brothers apparently requested he removed them forthwith.
Later in the week Fry was quoted as saying that he feels sorry for straight men as women aren’t generally too keen on making the beast with two backs, submitting that “it’s the price they are willing to pay for a relationship”. Obviously if Fry is correct this means I’ve been lied to countless times and the earth didn’t really move!! …Damn you Fry ! Now I’m beginning to doubt my once unquestionable prowess !
Admittedly my first reaction was that Stephen appears to have regressed back to the 1970′s, but that was nothing compared to the twitter-verse lynch mob, as they went into overdrive, jerking their knees and bleating that Fry should be hung in Parliament Square via his (doubtless) magnificently humongous testicles, until such time as they are engorged and bright purple; like overripe Tuscan Valley plums. At this point his plump, puce pods should be pummelled with splintered cricket bats as Fry is handed his I-phone and attempts to beg for clemency using just 140 characters. However, one suspects as an ex public school boy, Fry may regard that sort of behaviour as more of a guilty pleasure, than an actual punishment.
Others defended young Stephen, many observing (including it is noted, one Mrs Von Pip,) that he was merely highlighting a painful, unspoken truth whilst also helping to shatter the final taboo that has for so long haunted the shadowy world of heterosexual sex. Namely that women would sooner drink neat bleach than blow a gentleman’s love trombone, although many accept that ultimately it’s a price worth paying as all their friends have men and they don’t really want to come across as ‘a bit Lesbian.’ Some young ladies confusingly tweeted that ‘Feminism was gay‘, whilst others said that all this nagging would simply give women a bad name , and really shouldn’t these feminists be busy preparing their man a delicious meal wearing a thong, suspenders and high heels ? After all, he’s bound to have developed an insatiable appetite following a spot of late afternoon dogging ! Ah the Sisterhood is alive and well it seems!
As an upshot of all this blathering, Mr Fry has not only deleted the Harry Potter photos, but it transpires he may have also deleted his twitter account claiming he’s being painted as the gay, I-phone loving anti-Christ and has been horribly misquoted, signing off with a pithily inspired “bye,bye”.
Still, whatever the rights and wrongs it gives us an ideal opportunity to indulge in some Photoshop fun, sadly it also gives the Daily Mail, who are no fans of Mr Fry, the chance to produce yet more spurious nonsense too.
Fry Quits Twitter ? -(Animated version)
- Stephen Fry in the Firing Line (markborkowski.com)
- Stephen Fry forced to remove Harry Potter photographs from Twitter (guardian.co.uk)
- Don’t quit Twitter, Stephen Fry (popwatch.ew.com)
- Stephen Fry Quits Twitter? (towleroad.com)
- Observer portrays me as the antichrist, says Stephen Fry (newstatesman.com)
- Stephen Fry says ‘bye-bye’ to Twitter … again (cbc.ca)
- Stephen Fry Leaks Potter Pics On Twitter (news.sky.com)
- The Fallout Over Stephen Fry’s Sexual Insights [Sex Ed] (jezebel.com)
- Stephen Fry uses Twitter to voice fury over newspaper article (guardian.co.uk)
- According To Stephen Fry, Women Only Have Sex To Get A Relationship (thefrisky.com)
George Osborne….he’s your worst f**king nightmare ….coming to a town hall, community centre, police station, fire station, hospital or library near you…very, very soon….
Meanwhile, their children will presumably be left at home to fend for themselves with schools being run down and even closed. Iain Duncan Smith offers us a 19th-century vision of sturdy beggars and the undeserving poor, while the bankers and their chums continue to rake in millions and dodge taxes. The only polite reaction to all this is to say ‘shame on you’ (you shower of cunts? )
- Iain Duncan Smith: ‘get on a bus’ comment is ‘disgusting insult’ to unemployed (telegraph.co.uk)
- Union fury at ‘get on bus’ remark (bbc.co.uk)
- Get on bus for work says minister (bbc.co.uk)
- Work Secretary: Jobless Can ‘Get On The Bus’ (news.sky.com)
Model Naomi Campbell has testified that she was given some “dirty-looking stones” after a 1997 dinner attended by ex-Liberian President Charles Taylor….and here’s the proof … (story here)
As the cloned cow milk row (cow (n’)gate?) in the UK rumbles on , story here , David Cameron, fresh from pursuing his own peculiar brand of foreign diplomacy, ie piss off any country with a nuclear capability, joins Nick Clegg to calm public health fears over cloning…
The UK election was without doubt, one of the most fascinating and unpredictable for decades. It had the lot, tears, tantrums, the decimation of the BNP, UKIP leader Nigel Fargae, crashing his aeroplane ( a problem with the right wing apparently ). It also featured the added drama of voters in a number of constituencies being turned away from polling stations, unable to exercise their democratic right. The UK Electoral Commission is said to be “undertaking a thorough review” of instances where voters have been unable to cast their ballots. They have yet to confirm the rumour that Robert Mugabe has offered to dispatch neutral observers to ensure the next election is all above board!
Yes the general public have spoken and their overwhelming message was quite clearly “erm..” leaving the three main party leaders lost in political limbo. With no clear winner, maybe the electorate’s message to politicians was quite simply “get lost..”
So we have a hung Parliament and all the feverish talk of huge Liberal Democrat gains amounted to nothing more than hot air and broken dreams. The Tories failed (despite being bankrolled by Cashcroft and enjoying the support of Murdoch’s huge media machine) to gain majority. And so now Cameron ‘the man who would be king’ is reduced to attempting to broker deals with the Lib Dems, the Unionists, a Shetland pony called Roy, hell, anybody who will assist him in fulfilling his “birthright”…
So will the Liberal Democrat’s get into to bed with current PM Gordon Brown and form a government? Or will Nick Clegg risk an STD and allow David Cameron to seduce him with flaccid promises of “an all party committee on electoral reform”. A fairly shit chat up line me thinks…
But it’s Cleggs shout…Deal or No Deal ?
Simon Indelicate ( Of The Indelicates) tells us why he loves election night and why a Tory government would be no fun…..
Last Ditch Effort
“I have a serious character flaw: I don’t want to be ordinary. I don’t ever want to be a member of an audience. I am only happy backstage, peering out through curtains at amorphous crowds. I want to conduct them – to raise and quiet applause with a gesture – not stand among them. I want to commentate, not participate. I long for an occult understanding of the manipulable mechanisms that operate complex things. I want to be a witchdoctor, predicting the returns of summers and taking credit when I am proved correct.
As such, I’ve always loved elections. Like nothing else, they are a gift to people like me – arcane historical motions steeped in complex mathematics and eccentric insider traditions. When I learn that a party can come third in percentage terms and still be awarded enough seats to form the largest parliamentary grouping I get a little, embarassing thrill that I understand why and someone else doesn’t. When I hear that the Prime Minister has reacted pretty much as I would to hearing an old woman blather ludicrously on about eastern europeans, I don’t for a moment think that immigration is the issue at the story’s core: I think on a meta-level – I think about what it will mean, who it will sway, how it will play with undecideds, whether the public will warm to the glimpse of humanity or be disgusted with the Big-Brother-win-forfeiting crime of two-facedness…
This is all because I am, by birth and nature among the political classes. My parents never paid for my education, but I went to a state grammar school almost entirely populated by former prep school boys who had, by sheer and remarkable coincidence, been identified as the cleverest local kids in a fair and wholly accurate verbal reasoning test. I’ve got a politics A-Level, I attend counts and stay up all night for european election results. When I was 17 I won a national prize for debating, a title awarded to those who are the best at arguing a case with passion, commitment and eloquence that they have been handed a quarter of an hour before doing so. I’ve always known that politics was such a performance. We stripped belief for parts and reassembled it to convince people that we shared it. The Death Penalty, Abortion, Euthanasia, Privatisation, Poverty, Climate Change – they are just capitalised topics, fonts of rhetoric to be picked at for advantage, stages to play on. That’s what being of the political classes means – that people’s lives are chess pieces to help us to get our names onto little shields and precious websites.
I recognise my brethren everywhere in the media and politics. We are drawn to the swingometers and home-guard-ish returning officers and we babble excitedly about the process of it all. To us, ‘discussion of policy’, ‘smears’, ‘passion’ and ‘spin’ are all in the same category. They are tactics – like blows during a turn based RPG battle: Brown performs a medium strength appeal to class solidarity on Cameron’s upper body, yielding +2 EXP, -4 INT and a heartland bonus of +3 CHR…
It’s a game and we’ve read the rulebook and we don’t believe that anybody else has and that makes us special. More special than you, undecided voter so easily swayed by Saatchi posters and gaffes; more special than you, mumsnet whom we so nearly decided to name the election after; more special than you, old woman, worrying about your little care home; more special than you, ordinary man, charmingly expressing your little opinion outside Dixons. We’re the guys behind the curtain – quake before the great and terrible Oz.
And I love it. Deep down, I do. I love it all. Except, this time, there’s this thing that’s happening and it really feels like we might elect a conservative government and it isn’t fun – it’s horrible.
For so long it has been an item of received wisdom that the main parties are all the same. If you have only been paying attention for the last thirteen years, you might well feel that this is true – The Labour years have been awash with disappointments, attacks on civil liberties, terribly planned wars and stupid laws. But they have been punctuated with the minimum wage, huge improvements to the NHS, the lifting of huge numbers of children out of poverty, real peace in Northern Ireland, real Gay rights, even free fruit for infant schools… There is a gap between the records of these parties – a narrow gap maybe, but any gap with a million children in is a gap worth recognising the existence of.
To us who spend the days before elections writing self-serving blogposts and trying to make things trend on twitter – it is incredibly appealing to see the contest as between three rivals from our ranks. We like the narrative that identifies ‘change’ as a desire and animating force among the munchkins. We assume that David Cameron will be the beneficiary and we think it’s delightful that the Liberal Democrats might have convinced enough people to cause a plot wobble in the story arc.
We like to dissect whether or not this ‘Big Society’ thing is connecting with people. But what does it mean, really? When Tories promise to “Promote the delivery of public services by social enterprises, charities and voluntary groups, encouraging them to get involved in running things like “Sure Start”, does that mean that they will rely on the generosity of rich people to counter the aggressive cutting of services that make people’s lives more bearable? Does it mean that in poor areas where people aren’t willing to help, people will suffer? Johann Hari makes a persuasive case that it does.
When they promise to “Recognise marriage and civil partnerships in the tax system, bringing us into line with other major European countries and making 4 million couples up to £150 per year better off” does that mean that they plan to institutionalise a world-view that looks down on blameless single mothers, widows and unconventional couples while doing as close to fuck all as possible to actually benefit anybody on the basis of a basic misreading of the statistic that married people are less likely to split up (as close to a perfect correlation/causation fallacy as it is possible to imagine)? Well, yes, yes it does.
When they promise to cut spending immediately and usher in an ‘age of austerity’ (a phrase quietly dropped in response to bad polling) does that mean a double dip recession as poor, tired, silly old Gordon Brown warns? Well, yes, it probably does. It’s happened in some countries and has been halted in countries where the opposite policy has been pursued. Does it mean that the unemployment and house reposessions I remember from the early 90s will happen again? Again, yes, probably – Jonathan Freedland makes a convincing case here.
When David Cameron says that we can’t have a hung parliament because that will mean decisions being made in smoky backrooms by politicians – does that mean that, in the event of a hung parliament he himself intends to try and make decisions in smoky backrooms so as to overturn constitutional convention and ride press momentum into power? Again, reports say yes.
When he says he’s making ‘a contract with you’, does that mean that he’s going to honour it precisely until the moment when, driven by inevitable crisis or political necessity, he is forced to compromise with the base of his party in order to shore up his position? Does that mean he’ll be compromising with Tebbit? With Philippa Stroud? With the Chris Graylings who had the sense to keep quiet? With his Extremist partners in the european parliament? With, not to put too fine a point on it, FUCKING TORIES. Yes. Yes it does.
I have been criticised for not making a positive case for any party, just attacking negatively and I admit it. It’s not easy. I think there are reasons to support Labour, reasons to support the Libdems and plenty of reasons not to. But at this stage, I barely care – I don’t fear either party because they are on the other side of a real gap with real people in it who will really suffer. I do fear the Tories. They terrify me.
I’d like nothing more tomorrow than to stay up all night gleefully waiting for Portillo moments and unopenable magnums and good old Paxman having a nice old go at someone and swingometers and exit polls and Andrew Neill and funny old Nick Robinson and what will Galloway say and will Caroline Lucas win and who’ll try to put a positive spin on the exit polls and look its animated MPs in a CG parliament and aren’t we all clever with our analysis and predictions and isn’t Britain just marvellous…
But this is because I suck. I love the process and I don’t want to think about what it means. But fuck me and all my chums. We’re elitist, entitled nerds and we are obscuring the things that matter. It’s not fun anymore, it matters, and if you are scared of the country this will become if Cameron becomes Prime Minister on Friday then please do not let us distract you – just use your vote any way that you can to stop it happening. It isn’t too late.
So you know what to do….
Last word to sum up how many of us feel from Gary Younge
“I don’t have a phobia about Tories. That would suggest an irrational response. I hate them for a reason. For lots of reasons, actually. For the miners, apartheid, Bobby Sands, Greenham Common, selling council houses, Section 28, lining the pockets of the rich and hammering the poor – to name but a few. I hate them because they hate people I care about. As a young man Cameron looked out on the social carnage of pit closures and mass unemployment, looked at Margaret Thatcher’s government and thought, these are my people. When all the debating is done, that is really all I need to know.” ( Full article here )
Not as offensive as The Suns front page
Many voters probably wouldn’t object to the above scenario and apathy and mistrust towards a system that appears to be inherently corrupt is understandable. However not voting at all is a bit like saying…“I’m going to wear sweat pants and a man nappy for the rest of my life, I have given up “..Predictions today suggest that a hung parliament is still on the cards, The Sun “newspaper” and others with vested interests would seek to convince you that this would be an unmitigated disaster for the country, and Murdoch has allegedly already issued the Sun’s editor the diktat that it’s his job to “fu*king get Cameron into fu*king Number 10 ” .
There are still vital seats to be won and lost, so don’t be manipulated into voting for a party you don’t support purely to avoid Murdoch’s scaremongering “nightmare scenario” propaganda and self- interested bullshit (you can register your disapproval of media manipulation HERE ). If people don’t actually get out and vote, then the Tories may actually scrape a majority, and having lived through corrupt and uncaring Tory governments in the past, I know giving them the keys to number 10 would be a f**king disaster. So here’s a guide to tactical voting aimed at keeping the Tories out on May 6th (download HERE ) . Do the right thing, don’t vote Tory, do vote tactically.