Yes this week saw more than 250 hairy faced contestants from around the world enter the finals in Brighton, the first time the event has been held in the UK. Brighton was chosen as the venue as it has an unusually high tolerance for freakish absurdity (ie/The Kooks)
However one contestant was said to be ” absolutely gutted” and “as sick as a parrot”. Soccer pundit and newly bearded gadabout, Alan Hansen was devastated that his efforts had come to nought.
Twenty three year old Jack Passion of San Francisco won for best full, natural beard, to which Hansen retorted ” Twenty three ? – You cant win anything with kids, its an absolute disgrace, shocking ! I don’t think anyone enjoyed it. Apart from the people who watched it. The lad had Passion, no question, and at the end of the day, I lost because I didn’t win. I never make predictions, and I never will, but the thing is if history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again next year. “