This Seasons Must Have Toy !

Unidentified Flying Object Over NYC !

Merry Christmas one and all xxx

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The shooting for the next series of hit TV show “24″ suffers a few “hic-ups!” (see story)

CTU? DUI ?

A Cross To Bear

The Wacky Adventures Of Jesus The Bear 

“I’m A Celebrity”-Tabloid Tales And The Populist Wave

Well some may have thought the VP Express has gone a little tabloid,reporting on reality TV shows, but if its good enough for Joe Public and the rest of the UK press it’s good enough for us. Our reality TV experiment is now almost at an end, and there appears to have been no lasting damage done to the old grey matter(although we fear the same could not be said if we had watched “GMTV” or “Loose Women” over the same period of time.) So in essence did we enjoy watching “I’m A Celebrity ?” Well, actually yes we did, once we realised it was a chance to relax and let our brain go on holiday we were completely drawn in, this was entertainment for entertainment’s sake, a voyeuristic celeb fest of madness, stupidity and insect munching and it was bizarrely compelling ….

It also gave us the impression of belonging to a communal experience, and meant we could socially interact! Why only this Saturday Mr VP was able to chat with the young girl in Aldi,who was serving him at the checkout, about the relative merits of their new “chums” “Biggins” “Janice” “J” “Cerys” et all. Here’s how the conversation went

Aldi Lass : “Oooh That “J” was so boring , Oooh I don’t like Biggins, I think he might be gay, should have been Janice, she rocked, I reckon it was a fix, why does that Cerys one talk like she’s sucked on a helium balloon? Aren’t Ant And Dec great , I could imagine having a bevy with them in the pub, so down to earth, that Marc’s a rat …….. that’ll be £ 45.87 “

VP: “WHAT! for two packets of Wrigley’s Extra ???”

Aldi Lass: “Sorry Love , I thought you were as thick as pig sh*t as you watch reality TV and I therefore tried to distract you with friendly banter and then cunningly rip you off, no offence”

VP: “None taken , I haven’t got £45.87 in cash, will you take plastic? “

But now we feel a deep sense of bereavement, our new “friends” are no longer on TV everyday and we wonder what they have done since leaving the jungle. Will they produce hastily arranged and ill-advised cash ins to ride the populist wave ? We had a look at what some of this years celebs may be releasing to satisfy the insatiable public demand for all things jungely !

The Winner , Gods own Panto Dame Christopher Biggins

The Runner Up Janice Dickinson ( proving accountants were invented purely to help models do the math…)

Rodney Marsh, who proved yet again that in the Football world it will forever be 1975

I’m not saying “J” was dull or anything , but….

And of course the most annoying woman in Britain, if not the world

Still as we’ve said, no harm done. We’re just counting down the days for “Celebrity Love Island” to start !